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The Skeletons of Hell

from I Can Smell The Asparagus by the stragglers

/

lyrics

Well the man across from me
And I know how this seems
But I could tell by his tail he was the devil
He had two glassy eyes
And I swear I saw him cry
He was cursing at me calling me an angel

So I looked the other way
To avoid the demon's gaze
And to check out all the rest
I was smacked real hard
And I fell atop the bar
For my eyes fell upon a lady's chest

Then I tried to sneak away
It was a quick getaway
I saw titties in every city down to Bama
I knew the trip was long
So I was drinking like my mom
And I was hacking good old darts just like my grandma

Then I wasn't quite specific so I turned for the Pacific
It was a lonely drive for me
I saw the future
It was sad
There was a woman fuming mad
Of course my dick got me in trouble in the end

Oh if ever there was money on the line
And the thought of turning back had crossed your mind
There are stories to tell from the skeletons of hell
And most wish they could have another try

Then I met an older man
Who had derived a master plan
He kept on pleading that he needed to exist
He had never travelled south
But he had heard by word of mouth
That you could buy love at the flick of a wrist

It didn't matter it was far
But then the rundown rusty car
Broke down just past route nine
I was stuck in the desert
With a stranger and a lizard
And some vodka drinks to help us pass the time

By the time I had awoke
He said the lizard stole my smokes
This man appeared to be more clever than he seemed
I must have blackened out
But I was far too sore to shout
Good thing I still had half a tank of gasoline

I poured it on the roof
Cause there's no way it's fireproof
And I sung revenge is sweet
Then I torched my ex's car
And the fire reached the stars
And the smoke brought people out to rescue me

Oh if ever there was money on the line
And the thought of turning back had crossed your mind
There are stories to tell from the skeletons of hell
And most wish they could have another try

credits

from I Can Smell The Asparagus, released November 25, 2022

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the stragglers London, Ontario

People keep telling us we need to play more shows. We're so sorry. We didn't realize there are rules to playing in a punk band hahahaa

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