I remember saying I can't remember a thing
I hate to break it to you I would do it over again
Except my drunk mouth surely regrets
I'm mad at myself that I said
I'm falling for you

Trap me in a corner after three drinks nothing has changed
Point your finger in the gutter that's where class A shit-disturbers should sleep
I know I'm easy to blame
But the truth’s I stayed away
I would have ruined his day

I hear I screwed up big time
I apologize my memory’s run dry
I need some space or a familiar face
There are bits and chunks and pieces that have been erased
(oh my god)
Can’t you tell from all the bad signs?
We’re gonna face some of the worst years of our lives
The last thing I need Is the third degree
When the bigger picture’s looming over all our dreams

November’s round the corner mark your calendar it’s time to get laid
The honies know it’s getting cold they want to fill their beds before it’s too late
I share this tip with you
Because this ship has sailed it’s true
I’m even turning gray

I hate my buddy’s wife, I always wished that it was only a fling
I hope to look a little closer at her finger and not find a ring
A nightmare day after day
She scared the living shit out of me
She made me wish I was gay