Get all 5 the stragglers releases available on Bandcamp and save 40%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of I Can Smell The Asparagus, I'm Not Fat, It's Butterflies, The Mont of Beli Cristo, Tapeworm, and Helicopter EP.
1. |
More Money Than Brains
03:54
|
|
||
Well they told me to look for a girl with more money than brains
He said sex was overrated
Cash the winning ticket
Jump on the train
I barely made it this far
My decision making's terrible
This temperature just makes it too hard
I'll keep my options open
I'll be patient waiting for an escape
Yeah they told me to look for a girl with more money than brains
I found what I was looking for
It turned out she was twice my age
I picked her up in a bar
I joked you fell on purpose
Just so you could be in my arms
I was sold after she told me a storm heard her prayers
I know that all my friends are making fun of me
My sides are splitting in two
My perspective keeps on changing every minute we're exchanging views
I hope your dreams come true too
Yeah they said if it's love
Set her free and she'll come back to you
I just don't think I'll feel the same for something that is older and used
Don't worry I've got plans
I'm spreading propaganda many children ruin the land
Blame it on your premature ejaculation again
Yeah I know that's it love cause she would break a hip to help plant a tree
My friends still think it's funny if her money helps to clean up the sea
It seems we're growing apart
I have a funny feeling that you're gonna have a big change of heart
Mother Nature's pissed
She's gonna rip right through to make a fresh start
I know that all my friends are making fun of me
My sides are splitting in two
My perspective keeps on changing every minute we're exchanging views
I hope your dreams come true too
I know that all my friends are making fun of me
But it's too good to be true
Recall my goal to try escaping that I sang from the beginning
I know that all my friends are making fun of me
My sides are splitting in two
My perspective keeps on changing every minute we're exchanging views
I hope your dreams come true too
I hope your dreams come true too
I hope your dreams come true too
|
||||
2. |
I Outran The Cops
03:09
|
|||
With the windows down for the summer breeze
Was it my red car or tattooed sleeves?
It was a clear and sunny day
I outran the cops
I thank that truck as he blocked the path
I took a quick right turn avoided aftermath
It was a clear and sunny day
I outran the cops
Just don't tell my mother
And don't tell my girlfriend
You know they'll nag and nag me
Yeah I won't hear the end
Please don't tell your brother
I know what he intends to do
That dirtbag, rat, cokehead
Poor excuse of a friend
Mark my fucking words
I back tracked through residential streets
And I didn't slow down to try and lose the heat
Yeah I continued on my way and I didn't stop
It wasn't that far from the overpass
Yeah I shifted quick and then I hit the gas
It was a clear and sunny day
I outran the cops
Just don't tell my mother
And don't tell my girlfriend
You know they'll nag and nag me
Yeah I won't hear the end
Please don't tell your brother
I know what he intends to do
That dirtbag, rat, cokehead
Poor excuse of a friend
Mark my fucking words
Just don't tell my mother
And don't tell my girlfriend
You know they'll nag and nag me
Yeah I won't hear the end
Please don't tell your brother
I know what he intends to do
That dirtbag, rat, cokehead
Poor excuse of a friend
Mark my fucking words
|
||||
3. |
The Skeletons of Hell
03:04
|
|||
Well the man across from me
And I know how this seems
But I could tell by his tail he was the devil
He had two glassy eyes
And I swear I saw him cry
He was cursing at me calling me an angel
So I looked the other way
To avoid the demon's gaze
And to check out all the rest
I was smacked real hard
And I fell atop the bar
For my eyes fell upon a lady's chest
Then I tried to sneak away
It was a quick getaway
I saw titties in every city down to Bama
I knew the trip was long
So I was drinking like my mom
And I was hacking good old darts just like my grandma
Then I wasn't quite specific so I turned for the Pacific
It was a lonely drive for me
I saw the future
It was sad
There was a woman fuming mad
Of course my dick got me in trouble in the end
Oh if ever there was money on the line
And the thought of turning back had crossed your mind
There are stories to tell from the skeletons of hell
And most wish they could have another try
Then I met an older man
Who had derived a master plan
He kept on pleading that he needed to exist
He had never travelled south
But he had heard by word of mouth
That you could buy love at the flick of a wrist
It didn't matter it was far
But then the rundown rusty car
Broke down just past route nine
I was stuck in the desert
With a stranger and a lizard
And some vodka drinks to help us pass the time
By the time I had awoke
He said the lizard stole my smokes
This man appeared to be more clever than he seemed
I must have blackened out
But I was far too sore to shout
Good thing I still had half a tank of gasoline
I poured it on the roof
Cause there's no way it's fireproof
And I sung revenge is sweet
Then I torched my ex's car
And the fire reached the stars
And the smoke brought people out to rescue me
Oh if ever there was money on the line
And the thought of turning back had crossed your mind
There are stories to tell from the skeletons of hell
And most wish they could have another try
|
||||
4. |
I'm Having An Affair
02:01
|
|||
I'm having an affair
I keep complaining that my life's not fair
I'll blame it on quarantine
The same routine
And that I'm constantly looking at screens
I'm having an affair
I'm gonna find the perfect home wrecker
Maybe a divorce
On St. Patrick's Day
I know my colleague's always looking my way
Well I just got back from my daughter's dance class
Her teacher sure has a perfect round ass
Don't try this at home
It takes guts
If you're having an affair
Well I had an affair
I lost everything it's just not fair
I lost my beautiful wife
Ruined my son's life
For a cup of fun and meaningless nights
Oh I had an affair
People said we were the perfect pair
But like a movie scene
She broke the window screen
And threw my G.I. Joes into the street
It's a weekday, I'm back from my favourite bar
It helps me forget things I've done so far
I've got cans full of cigarette butts
As I wallow away in my rut
Don't try this at home
It takes guts
If you're having an affair
|
||||
5. |
I Did It For True Love
03:15
|
|||
I haven't drank in three weeks and my stomach's still turning from the night we spent on the beach
I had the same bad dream last night at the edge of the building and I feared you were just out of reach
I grabbed your hand as you were falling
We jumped aboard on the first boat departing, love
It's getting colder now
I think I ended up with the flu
My chest was out of breath last night
I couldn't say one word
There was smoke still stuck in my lungs
It appears this boat won't hold
As if I needed reminders
That this old soul's just aboat done
I grabbed your hand from the rushing water
I even plan to cure you of cancer, love
Of course it's raining now
A spider's under my shoe
You never explained who, why or how
I've never seen my body so bruised
I did it for true love
I did it for true love
I did it for true love
I did it for true love
And I don't know why
Everytime
I'm locked inside and surrounded by blue sky
I cracked the ice
Pulled you out from under
And I warmed you by the fire
Saved your life
I fell asleep to our favourite song
But the wait until summer was too long for you to go on
When I woke I was all alone
And I stared at the ceiling
And I'm scared that I stared far too long
I grabbed your hand from the blood-red water
The poor man just lost his daughter, love
I found you lying there
Your wrists were cut to shreds
I had to deal with it
It wasn't fair
I loved another instead
I did it for true love
I did it for true love
I did it for true love
I did it for true love
|
||||
6. |
Buttload
03:04
|
|||
I've bailed on two occassions
I can't keep my concentration
My old friend won't call me back
He blames those panic attacks
It's common knowledge that we fell for all the tricks and the looks
I'll bury the hatchet
Bury yourself inside a book
Was ripped awake from dreaming
From my own mind chasing demons
I'll find an ounce of sleep
But I fear we're both in too deep
This is a problem I'm afraid I'm just not able to solve
I'll surely burn some bridges
No trouble taking the fall
My stomach's clear full
Well here comes another buttload
We're gonna hit the head
And raid your bathroom cabinet for pills
Just one lorazepam
Please knock me out ship me to Brazil
And never knowing when I will be woken up next I'm through
There's no escape they're on their way
And the damage is due
I need to book vacation
Amidst all this damn frustration
My old friend wrote adios
He claims my posts are too gross
We went to college to compete to see who's in debt the most
That's what I get from taking orders from family ghosts
I've made some key decisions
Tied down with supervision
I miss out on all the fun
Good thing this run's about done
I know it started from the stories of the Barbary Coast
I made sure to dress my best
And then I buttered her toast
This house is clearly full well
Here comes another buttload
We're gonna hit the head
And raid your bathroom cabinet for pills
Just one lorazepam
Please knock me out ship me to Brazil
And never knowing when I will be woken up next I'm through
There's no escape they're on their way
And the damage is due
And the damage is due
|
||||
7. |
||||
A jean jacket is my new style
I must admit it took awhile
Until a flashback came across clearly
A rubber room is for the best
With two arms tied around my chest
Confinement used to scare the life from me
Then you were quick to submit your opinion
You didn't even try to see if I was just bored
What if my past comes back to haunt me?
I'm not afraid of ghosts
I've already gone there
I had to do it again
So if you've got that bug that makes you want to run off
It's fine just tell me when
I've seen them a few times
More than I'd like to admit
I'd rather stay at home and catch up on my shows
I'm always tired crawling out of this pit
A motorbike is my new ride
The helmet is a way to hide
My face, my age, the bags under my eyes
Why the death wish and wrecklessness
I'm going fast riding like a squid
It happens that it helps the time fly by
Then you were quick to give a meaningless opinion
I thought that it was obvious that I was just bored
What if I snap and lose all compassion?
I'm just afraid it's close
I've already gone there
I had to do it again
So if you've got that bug that makes you want to run off
The keys are where they've always been
I've seen them a few times
More than I'd like to admit
I'd rather stay at home and play games on my phone
One day I'm gonna up and just quit
Oh hey hey
Everybody's moved away
Now, nothing's gonna be the same way
Honestly, you gotta tell me why you ever did stay
Here, everybody's moved away man
Nothing's gonna be the same damn
Honestly, you gotta tell me why you ever did stay
Hey, everybody's moved away
Now, nothing's gonna be the same way
Honestly, you gotta tell me why you ever did stay
Here, everybody's moved away man
Nothing's gonna be the same damn
Honestly, you gotta tell me why you ever did stay
Hey, everybody's moved away
Now, nothing's gonna be the same way
Honestly, you gotta tell me why you ever did stay
Here, everybody's moved away man
Nothing's gonna be the same damn
Honestly, you gotta tell me why you ever did stay
Hey, everybody's moved away
Yeah nothing's gonna be the same
Honestly, you gotta tell me why you ever did stay
Here, everybody's moved away man
Nothing's gonna be the same damn
Honestly, you gotta tell me why you ever did stay
|
||||
8. |
Valentine's Day
02:00
|
|||
Well I bought her a dozen tulips
Just to put my hands upon her hips
It was the best dance of my life
It was the best dance of my life
Then I bought her a pink dalilah
Hoping my paws would unclip that bar
It was the best day of my life
It was the best day of my life
Let's make this Valentines last a little longer
It's quite romantic if join you in the shower
I often fantasize about your little sister
I pray to god she didn't gain weight in the winter
I bought her gladiolus
Just to see her areolas
It was the best month of my life
It was the best month of my life
Then I bought her a lovely red rose
Just to see her crotchless panty hose
It was the best year of my life
It was the best year of my life
Let's make this Valentines last a little longer
It's quite romantic if join you in the shower
I often fantasize about your little sister
I pray to god she didn't gain weight in the winter
|
||||
9. |
Jaime's Case
02:06
|
|||
Let me tell you something
Bout a boy who's tired of trying
Yeah he's kicking and he's screaming
If he likes you he'll be something
But his walls are being built
Atop of crocodile hill
Yeah he will keep an eye out for you
And be able to see through you
The walls were broken before
Then they take a little time to restore
And although he's turned his back on you
There's a secret way to sneak in through
He was walking through the city
And his headache wasn't leaving
So he cut open his stomach
And he made a soup bowl from it
Then he licked the bowl clean
And turned the slightest shade of green
Oh no, he couldn't find his good shoes
But felt ready for his interview
He kicked down the office door
And he slid across the wooden floor
Laid the biggest kiss on the woman's red lips
Spun in circles til he puked in the drawer
More mistakes
Oh the basketcase
Oh no, a little crystal hitting the mark just in Jaime's face
The disgraced
Oh can't catch a break
Oh no, it's even more important to find a little breathing space
He couldn't handle all the pressure
So he opened even wider
All his teeth were feeling tired
Out they went with rusty pliars
Then he laid there in the basement
With his body draped in wet cement
He signed his name with full consent
Still thinking 'bout the main event
A crate showed up at the door
With a fragile stamp in red
The card read let your garden grow
Oh how I'll look beneath the falling snow
More mistakes
Oh the basketcase
Oh no, a little crystal hitting the mark just in Jaime's face
The disgraced
Oh can't catch a break
Oh no, it's even more important to find a little breathing space
More mistakes
Oh the basketcase
Oh no, a little crystal hitting the mark just in Jaime's face
The disgraced
Oh can't catch a break
Oh no, it's even more important to find a little breathing space
|
||||
10. |
||||
11. |
Cheap Suit
04:00
|
|||
With the cards on the table I itch
It's been a long, long time
My blinds, just watching the turn
It turned out for the worst
But in a cheap suit I strived
And in a cheap suit I buried the kings alive
I lost a stack from the math that I did in my head
What can you expect if you're hanging on just by a thread
Well I'm down but not out and watch out
The dealer's armed
On my left left his kids in the cold
To get this far
Here I sit again
Beside you
Even though I know
I've been lied to
The law, the lay, the land
This hand's my call
This is my favourite place
I even kept a face
Without letting
On I had the ace
You kept betting
I've been here for days
I'm gonna risk it all
My plan is slowly falling apart
I reassure you I'm fine
I've tried to curb my habit at best
I slip from time to time
And in a cheap suit I cried
In a cheap suit I laid it all on the line
I know just what you're thinking it's true
Because I just can't quit
Aren't you just a little bit proud
It's what I can admit
If I can reach my goal then we're gold
If not I'll go all in
The worst part it drags me down
If I don't win
Here I sit again
Beside you
Even though I know
I've been lied to
The law, the lay, the land
This hand's my call
This is my favourite place
I even kept a face
Without letting
On I had the ace
You kept betting
I've been here for days
I'm gonna risk it all
I'm afraid it's all long gone
Here I sit again
Beside you
Even though I know
I've been lied to
The law, the lay, the land
This hand's my call
This is my favourite place
I even kept a face
Without letting
On I had the ace
You kept betting
I've been here for days
I'm gonna risk it all
I'm afraid it's all long gone
|
the stragglers London, Ontario
People keep telling us we need to play more shows. We're so sorry. We didn't realize there are rules to playing in a punk band hahahaa
Streaming and Download help
the stragglers recommends:
If you like the stragglers, you may also like:
Bandcamp Daily your guide to the world of Bandcamp